Hello!
This blog is about something you might not have heard before: Me-Topia. The relationship you have with yourself. I suspect some of you might be thinking "oh, here we go, another self-care lecture." Please bear with me - this isn't about bubble baths and face masks (though if those work for you, brilliant). This is about something far more fundamental: how the way you treat yourself affects absolutely everything else in your life.
When I ask clients what they do for themselves each week, the response is often the same: self comes at the bottom of the list. Always. And when I suggest making time for themselves, I hear: "But that would be selfish, wouldn't it?" Looking after yourself isn't selfish. It's essential. It’s like that instruction on aeroplanes about putting your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. That's not a suggestion, it’s survival. If you're not breathing, you can't help anyone else breathe either. It might be an overused analogy but that’s because it captures the importance of this so perfectly. What are you doing to keep yourself well?
Hello!
In this blog I’m writing about something that affects around a third of men at some point in their lives yet still carries the heavy weight of shame and secrecy: premature or rapid ejaculation. If you're reading this because this is your experience, I want you to know something straight away: you are not alone. Not even close. Janet and I wouldn't have jobs if sexual difficulties were rare. They're incredibly common and this one is right up there at the top of the list.
The problem isn't just the physical experience of coming more quickly than you'd like or not being able to come at all. It's everything that goes with it. The shame. The sense that everyone else has got this sorted. The worry that you're broken. The fear of what your partner might think. The avoidance that starts to creep in. Sometimes men stop pursuing intimate relationships altogether because the humiliation feels too big to risk again.
But here's what I want you to hold onto: this is fixable. Genuinely fixable. And understanding what's happening - and why - is the first step toward change.
Hello.
In this blog I’m talking about something that catches almost every couple by surprise at some point: the moment when you look at your partner and wonder where all that electric, can't-keep-your-hands-off-each-other energy went. You know the feeling. It’s easy to remember those early days when desire was easy, when you prioritised each other without thinking, when everything felt new and urgent. And then, somewhere along the line—maybe six months in, maybe seven years—it shifts. The lust fades and suddenly you're left wondering: are we done?
Here's the thing: you're very likely not done but you might need to do things differently.
Hello.
In this blog I’m talking about conflict - about fighting & falling out - those moments when you and your partner (or friend, or family member) can't seem to get on the same page no matter how hard you try. If you've ever found yourself shouting when you meant to explain, sulking when you wanted to talk, or having the same fight over and over again about seemingly trivial things, this one's for you.
Hello and welcome. In this blog I’m talking about something that can feel absolutely terrifying when it happens: erectile difficulties. Whether your erections have become unreliable, inconsistent, or have disappeared altogether, before I start I want you to know that you're not alone, and more importantly, this is often entirely treatable.
Hello!
The Big O – otherwise known as the female orgasm; that mythologised, misunderstood, often elusive experience that's caused more anxiety and performance pressure than perhaps any other aspect of sexuality. If you've ever felt broken, inadequate, or "less than" because orgasms don't happen the way you think they should, please know you're not alone.
I'm glad you're here, though I imagine if you're choosing to read this blog the topic might feel a bit raw.
Maybe you've discovered something that's shattered your world. Or maybe you're the one who's crossed a line and you're terrified about what happens next. Possibly you're simply curious about how relationships survive, or don't, after betrayal.
So, before I get into the nitty gritty, I want to start with something super important: yes, you can survive an affair. I say this confidently because I've seen it happen many times. It's not easy, it's not guaranteed, but it is possible. And sometimes, not always, a relationship can become stronger after an affair than it was before.
If you're reading this, there's a good chance you've experienced that awkward moment when you and your partner aren't quite in sync. One of you is ready to go, the other isn't feeling it, and suddenly what should be pleasurable becomes loaded with anxiety, guilt, or frustration.
In this blog I am writing about that phenomenon using an expression Janet coined - the arousal paradox. This is not a technical term you will find in textbooks or on the internet, but it captures exactly what so many couples struggle with.
If you're reading this, chances are you've been wondering about your sex life - perhaps questioning whether you're doing it 'right', or feeling like something isn't quite working the way you think it 'should'. That's why Janet and I started this series with what may seem like the simplest question of all: what is sex anyway?