How to choose a Therapist
I am often asked this question. Where to begin? There are so many different therapeutic models nowadays. Back in the day Therapy meant Psychoanalysis. Picture the client lying on a couch, looking into the middle distance roaming through the unconscious several days a week. The Therapist sitting with you but out of sight, possibly offering a sound or a comment but possibly not. This school of therapy still exists and some people find it enormously helpful but it is only one of many options, some with acronyms - TA, EFT, EMDR, PST, CBT, CAT, MBT, DBT, IPT, NLP, as well as Primal, Gestalt, Integrative, Psychodynamic, Systemic, Humanistic, Psychosynthesis, Narrative, Person Centred, Phenomenological and that’s before we consider art, drama, equine (or any animal assisted), walking / wilderness and horticulture therapy. Perhaps it looks like a minefield.
How do you choose? Where do you start?
My experience has been to discover that the most important thing in a successful therapeutic outcome is the relationship you foster with your Therapist. And this is backed up by research. Do you feel safe? Do you trust them? It’s not necessary that you like them but you do need to feel confident in them, that they’ve got your back and that you can lean into the experience to discover what awaits.
Shop around. Many Practitioners offer free “chemistry” tasters. A chance to feel your way into the potential relationship. Listen to your deepest Self, your gut, your heart and your mind. Notice your reactions - to them, to the furnishings, the smells, the pictures. Does it call you in or do you want to run screaming for the hills? Don’t believe that ‘they know best’ or ‘they are the expert’ - YOU know best. You know if this potential space is calling to you or repelling you. If the latter, keep looking.
In case you’re wondering, I don’t offer free tasters anymore. I found I lost a lot of time talking with folk who actually weren’t serious about starting therapy. They were interested (and interesting) but I guess it’s like the difference between window shopping and buying that thing you know you need. After many years in the field I find it serves me better to require payment - it sorts out the window shoppers from the actual shoppers and allows me to really hear what’s going on and what they hope to achieve by working with me. It’s a chance to check I’m confident I have the right tool box for the issue in hand and for them to check they feel comfortable with me, my premises and my location. I’m not saying my way is the right way, just that I’ve found it to be the most satisfying for me.
The type of therapy you choose is secondary to this. You know the expression “all roads lead to Rome”; in therapy that can be the case. Sometimes specific interventions are useful when a specific need has been identified. For example if trauma is in the mix a few sessions with an EMDR practitioner can be great. CBT has enjoyed much research and consequently there is a hefty evidence base for it being an effective intervention for a range of challenges from compulsive behaviours to generalised anxiety disorders. (If you are based in the UK and try and get some talking therapy on the NHS there’s a strong chance you will be offered CBT.) I would recommend reading up on different types of therapy on the internet and like I said above about choosing your practitioner, some will call to you, some will leave you cold. Just feel your way and don’t be discouraged if you hit a few dead ends before you find the person and the type of therapy that suits YOU!
Acronyms:
TA Transactional Analysis
EFT Emotional Focused Therapy
EMDR Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing
PST Psychosexual Therapy
CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
CAT Cognitive Analytic Therapy
MBT Mentalisation Based Therapy
DBT Dialectical Behaviour Therapy
IPT Interpersonal Psychotherapy
NLP Neuro-Linguistic Programming
